Project Luhan part 3: The Emancipation Of Sasaeng #1064

Okay, so it took me longer than an After School comeback, but here’s the third and absolutely definitely final chapter of Project Luhan!  The third part won’t make any sense if you’re not familiar with the first two parts, so for those new to this story or who need a refresher, click on the following links to catch up to this point in the story:

Part 1: Sasaeng Control: Project Luhan

Part 2: The Only Good Sasaeng…

For the rest of you, read on!

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Why Kpopalypse is often misunderstood by basic bitches

Strange as it may seem, I never specifically intended for Kpopalypse blog to become the almost vaguely semi-popular site that it is today – I actually just started blogging because I felt like it.  Of course, being slightly popular is certainly nice as well as flattering, and I definitely appreciate all my readers who are entertained/bemused/horrified/[fill in the blank] by the content of this site, but of course there’s a flipside – with a larger audience also comes a larger amount of highly entertaining butthurt.  However for each person who hates the content, someone else likes it, so how are different people interpreting the content here so differently?  Obviously I’m not going to change my writing style to accommodate anybody, but how wide is the gulf between what some people think is being said, and what is really being said?  I thought it would be interesting to explore the different ways that various people get buttblasted about Kpopalypse content.

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Kpopalypse Fashion Class – polka dots

Hi there, cao ni mas!  Since Seoul Fashion Week is coming up soon, Kpopalypse is back with another episode of the much-loved Kpopalypse Fashion Class, and this time we’re delving into the fascinating world of polka dots!  This post contains all the trufax you need to know on how to use polka dots to enhance female boobs and look hot, or to make someone else look hot, with lots of k-pop girls as examples!  Grab yourself a drink and let’s get started!

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Kpopalypse dreams I

It happens to everybody once they discover and get excited about a new music culture – it invades not just everyday aspects of their life, but also their subconscious mind.  Kpopalypse is no exception!  Recently I noticed that I was having dreams about k-pop and some of them were so bizarre and fucked up that it would be a shame not to document them for your prurient bemusement.  Please now be entertained as I lay bare the depths of my subconscious for your entertainment and expose myself to potential ridicule in this series of snack-sized fanfictions!

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The KPOPALYPSE list of random girls in k-pop who I don’t find very attractive (but you might)

I’m a very positive person, and I never intended to write about the idols that I dislike.  However, since making idiots upset is super funny, and everyone keeps fucking asking me about this fucking shit like it’s any of their concern, here’s a list of some random popular girls in k-pop that I DON’T find attractive, and why.  Note that this is only what I think of their appearance, it doesn’t mean that I don’t like them as people, after all who knows what their personalities are really like.

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This short list will probably upset some people, but hey, shit happens.  If you think you can handle it, read on!

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Vocal fakery – how likely is it in k-pop? Fuckin’ likely.

Vocals in k-pop.  Everybody wants me to write about it, but there’s not a lot to say because nobody with a brain cares.  The reasons why nobody with a brain cares are:

  • A good singer’s good vocals don’t make a bad song any better.
  • Most k-pop vocal performances are faked on some level so assessing them is like complaining that the bunny a magician pulls out of their hat was never really in there.

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The first point should be basic common sense to anyone (except vocalfags), so let’s talk about the second point.  What techniques are used to get good vocals out of someone who can’t sing well, or didn’t sing well in a particular circumstance… and how likely is k-pop to be using them?  Let’s find out!  (Spoiler alert: fuckin’ likely.)

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ONE MILLION VIEWS, holy shit

The Kpopalypse blog now has over 1,000,000 views!  Wow!

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Okay, so half of those hits were probably just from people searching “kpop boobs” in Google Image Search, but the other half were from you dedicated caonimas who read my stuff regularly, so thank you!  Kpopalypse has determination to continue posting about k-pop, so expect more posts fondly!

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