Kpopalypse language class – The Korean alphabet

It’s a constant source of embarrassment to me that I DJ a k-pop radio show yet I can’t speak a word of Korean.  I’ve got no plans to go to Korea or anything like that, but it sure would be nice to be able to read CD album liner notes and pronounce track titles correctly.  Also, it’d be great not having to rely on shady Netizenbuzz articles with creepy anti T-ara editorialising from NB herself in them for my netizen translations – it’d be especially nice to cut that particular umbilical cord.  Learning Korean language has been on my to-do list for a while now, but the trick is – how to get motivated to learn this shit as well as fit it into the rest of my busy schedule?  So I thought I’d make myself a blog post about it.

dream111

I always find that I memorise things much better if I’m forced to write down or type out the stuff, so by making this little alphabet post, it’ll (theoretically) help me to remember the Korean characters and how they sound.  So this affair isn’t one-sided and you the reader also get some value out of this even if you don’t necessarily give a shit about learning Korean yourself, I’ll use each letter as an excuse to extrapolate a bit on some things that are Kpopalypse-related that I’ve been asked about or that may be of interest to readers (or not).

Note: your browser/computer obviously needs to support Korean text reproduction or you ain’t gonna see shit.

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Line-up changes and k-pop in 2014 – what’s the big deal?

Apparently, the Kpopalypse has arrived, and (for once) it’s got nothing to do with me.  People have actually been trying to trend #kpopalypse on Twitter lately, and a lot of this has got to do with many of k-pop’s biggest groups suddenly starting to fall apart.

tarachinay

Honestly I don’t really care about any of it, but it seems to be an issue for a lot of people, so I thought a blog post about how and why line-up changes happen might be useful to give people who are freaking out about this shit a little bit of context, as well as an appreciation for why oppar doesn’t want to play “ulf nega ulf” anymore.

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Kpopalypse Monopoly

It’s a rainy day indoors with a bunch of your friends who are all k-pop fans, and suddenly the power goes out.  What to do?  Time to forget about the Internet and entertain yourself old-school style with the only board game in the house, Monopoly.

snsdroom

Of course, today’s k-pop lovers can’t do anything for more than five seconds at a time unless it’s related to k-pop somehow, so this post will show you how to customise your Monopoly experience with k-pop fun!  Here’s how to set up Kpopalypse Monopoly for that rainy day!

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KPOPALYPSE’s 30 worst k-pop songs of 2012

Some of you folks have noticed that I’ve got a “best of 2012″ list on my blog, but not a “worst of 2012″ list, and have asked when will I do a list of all the shitty stuff from that year.  So due to popular demand as well as a desire to be a completist and scratch my OCD-itch here’s a massively-belated list of what I believe to be 2012’s biggest k-pop stinkers.

davi2012

The reason for the omission of a “worst of 2012″ list until now is because when I first started blogging it was around the end of 2012, and I hadn’t figured out back then that people would actually prefer me to take a gigantic dump on their faves than praise them.  I only ever wanted to write nice things and be happy and say how great everything was… but these awful songs probably helped pushed me over the edge until I became the blogger that I am today.

Warning – this list has 30 YouTube videos and might get laggy on slow computers.  Give it a few seconds to load before you start scrolling down and crashing your browser, you impatient cunt.

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This is not a post about Jessica leaving SNSD, so why not just skip it?

Actually this is a post just to let you know that the “2NE1 shittiness survey” results are now in.  Click the sexy A.KOR bitches below, then scroll down to the conclusion to see the results!

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I must say though, it’s great that Jessica left SNSD because now I can write whatever bullshit I want over the next few days and as long as it’s not about her nobody will bother to read it and there’ll be no repercussions for me!  Awesome!

tara1111

Hahaha.

Kpopalypse Ice Bucket Fap Challenge – the complete k-pop girl list

Many people had questions about the Ice Bucket Challenge.  Some people wanted to know “what is ALS?”, “how can I donate?”, “is this trend a good idea?”, “is this objectifying?”, “will I feel like a dumb trendy fuckstick if I do this?” and more.  My question was simpler – “which Ice Bucket Challenge among k-pop girls is the most fappable?”.  This post seeks to answer this important question.

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11 written-while-taking-a-shit click-bait k-pop articles written in the last 72 hours

One of the favourite criticisms directed at my own blog writing is that it’s somehow “click-bait”.  Here I am spending hours of my time each week, pouring my heart and soul into articles for your completely free entertainment and enjoyment, with no hidden catches or ruses, and of course entitled me-generation cuntfaces still have to complain that I’m swindling them somehow.  Of course, I only ever get this criticism from people who also don’t happen to like my writing generally speaking, now isn’t that interesting.

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Seeing as how there’s so much confusion over what apparently constitutes “click-bait”, I thought it was time that I showed my readers some examples of what I think click-bait is.

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Kpopalypse 2NE1 shittiness survey – find the truth!

The experts agree: with a successful career, an eye-catching aesthetic unique among k-pop idol groups and several iconic hits under their belt, there’s no denying the influence of 2NE1, a YG Entertainment production who are legitimately one of the best groups in k-pop.  Oh wait… did I type “are”?  I meant “were”, sorry about that.  It’s not a secret to anybody with reasonably discerning musical taste that 2NE1’s last couple of years’ worth of output has been complete and utter crap compared to their 2009-2011 glory days.  It hasn’t hurt the group commercially but 2NE1 are riding off brand recognition alone at this point anyway, they’ve already built up an insane fanbase that will lap up literally anything they shit out no matter how bad (meaning bad) it is.  Let’s be honest here – if 2NE1 were a brand new group debuting with any of the songs that they’ve been peddling lately, nobody would tolerate it – they would have sunk without a trace.

ako6y

We all know the “what” and the “when”, but being an inquisitive sort, I’m more interested in the “how” and “why”.  How could such an iconic group suddenly sink so low in terms of musical quality?  Why do all their new songs suck many hard cocks?  This post will look at a few theories, present a case for each one, and attempt to bring an elusive answer to this troubling question.

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Kpopalypse Nugu Alert Episode 5: Kisum ft. Risso, 912 Crew, Rok Kiss

That’s right folks, it’s that time again!  Welcome to yet another episode of:

nugu5

Kpopalypse will yet again bring you fresh (or stale) nugus to enhance your life (or not)!

Nugu criteria as per usual:

* Less than 20,000 YouTube hits on the MV *

* Your friends who are all into EXO don’t give a fuck *

Let’s get the party started.

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