11 written-while-taking-a-shit click-bait k-pop articles written in the last 72 hours

One of the favourite criticisms directed at my own blog writing is that it’s somehow “click-bait”.  Here I am spending hours of my time each week, pouring my heart and soul into articles for your completely free entertainment and enjoyment, with no hidden catches or ruses, and of course entitled me-generation cuntfaces still have to complain that I’m swindling them somehow.  Of course, I only ever get this criticism from people who also don’t happen to like my writing generally speaking, now isn’t that interesting.

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Seeing as how there’s so much confusion over what apparently constitutes “click-bait”, I thought it was time that I showed my readers some examples of what I think click-bait is.

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Kpopalypse 2NE1 shittiness survey – find the truth!

The experts agree: with a successful career, an eye-catching aesthetic unique among k-pop idol groups and several iconic hits under their belt, there’s no denying the influence of 2NE1, a YG Entertainment production who are legitimately one of the best groups in k-pop.  Oh wait… did I type “are”?  I meant “were”, sorry about that.  It’s not a secret to anybody with reasonably discerning musical taste that 2NE1’s last couple of years’ worth of output has been complete and utter crap compared to their 2009-2011 glory days.  It hasn’t hurt the group commercially but 2NE1 are riding off brand recognition alone at this point anyway, they’ve already built up an insane fanbase that will lap up literally anything they shit out no matter how bad (meaning bad) it is.  Let’s be honest here – if 2NE1 were a brand new group debuting with any of the songs that they’ve been peddling lately, nobody would tolerate it – they would have sunk without a trace.

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We all know the “what” and the “when”, but being an inquisitive sort, I’m more interested in the “how” and “why”.  How could such an iconic group suddenly sink so low in terms of musical quality?  Why do all their new songs suck many hard cocks?  This post will look at a few theories, present a case for each one, and attempt to bring an elusive answer to this troubling question.

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Kpopalypse Nugu Alert Episode 5: Kisum ft. Risso, 912 Crew, Rok Kiss

That’s right folks, it’s that time again!  Welcome to yet another episode of:

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Kpopalypse will yet again bring you fresh (or stale) nugus to enhance your life (or not)!

Nugu criteria as per usual:

* Less than 20,000 YouTube hits on the MV *

* Your friends who are all into EXO don’t give a fuck *

Let’s get the party started.

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So you don’t like my bias? Gosh, how interesting.

The idea for this post actually started from Anti Kpop-Fangirl, because people kept giving him shit about his biases on ask.fm and he wanted to tell those people how fucking lame they were being.  We talked about it and decided that it was a great idea for a collaborative post as both of us were experiencing the same phenomenon.  You can read the post in its entirety including AKF’s contributions at this link, and I recommend that you do, but I thought I’d repost just my own section here on my own site because I think it stands up on its own as something my readers would like.

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Who killed EunB?

I’m sure almost all of you reading this have by now heard about the sad passing of 22 year old EunB (Go Eun Bi) from k-pop girl group Ladies Code.  Here she is in the great “Hate You” MV which has got to be one of the most visually astounding k-pop videos ever, as well as one of 2013’s best songs.

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Looking around at various posts on the Internet, I can see that the incident of EunB’s passing obviously affected many people quite deeply.  My heart does go out to all of you who are feeling shook by the loss.  My emotions on it are somewhat different to this though, however perhaps I can still help all you readers who are mourning by shining some light into the darkness, as well as giving voice to people who might not be reacting in the typical white-listed-by-society ways but still may wish to read about this incident in a way that they can relate to, in a way that is humourous AND educational AND sympathetic.  Trigger warning: if you’re the ultra-sensitive type there may be better web pages for you out there than this one so feel free to not read further.  For the rest of you, read on.

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The differences between K-pop and western pop for those too lazy to write their own school essays

Inquiring minds wish to know the differences between Korean pop and pop from other countries.  What are the differences?  How much has one influenced the other?  Is it true that one is superior?  Why haven’t I posted any images of T-ara girls in tightly-fitting school uniforms lately?

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I keep getting asked about this type of shit so here’s another one of those posts where I wrap some vaguely educational information up in my usual snarky blogging style and shovel it down the throats of a bunch of drooling, shambling Koreaboos.  Please enjoy.*

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Lizzy Duckface improvement ratio

Avid Kpopalypse readers may remember that a while ago I made a post noting the large amount of duckface in the selcas from Lizzy of Orange Caramel/After School, and I started a petition to encourage Lizzy selca improvement. I felt that as one of k-pop’s most fappable ladies, raising the quality of Lizzy selcas by eliminating duckface was an important cause for k-pop fans globally to get behind and support.

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I’m sure that you’ve often wondered “when I fill out an online petition, how much difference am I really making?” – it’s certainly a question worth asking in today’s connected age where we’re constantly told that improving our world is but a simple check-box away.  Using the data collected from the petition, as well as data from Lizzy, it’s time to find out – has the situation improved?

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The classiest and sexiest post that ever was both classy and sexy

I’ve recently written blogs about k-pop’s “sexy concepts” and also about “cute concepts“, and the non-existent differences between them, because everybody is so fucking fascinated by these topics.  Now I’ve been alerted to a new contender on the k-pop scene: “classy sexy” concepts.

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What the fuck even is “classy sexy”?  Is it even a real thing?  Does it exist in k-pop?  Does anybody care?  Well, I care, because the word “sexy” is in there, so therefore time to investigate!

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